wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
