So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
