it hurts more in the daytime
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He passed out mid-signature
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She needs sedatives and a leash
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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