How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
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