i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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