If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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