i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
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I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
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I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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