I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
