opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My dad is sitting where you rode me
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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