okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Houston, we have a blender
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My vagina just clenched in fear
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
