So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
