We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
