i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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