His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
The best revenge is premature balding
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It's shark week go big or go home
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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