she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
