Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
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thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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