I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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