I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
