So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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