Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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