I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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