Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
