you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize