I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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