That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize
