don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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