another moral hangover. fuck.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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