never play flip cup with pint glasses
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
