Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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