so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
