Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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