there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize