It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
