Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
