Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
