mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
