I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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