Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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