So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize