What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
