dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
