When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
third nipple confirmed
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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