You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
