how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
