so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Randomize
