honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
