Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
