I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
