so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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