She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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