I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
