I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
