would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
