So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
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If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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