Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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