Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize
