I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
