so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
